what’s my story?

I have been running away from my true self from an early age. When my parents divorced at the age of 6 my life drastically changed by moving to multiple homes and schools across the globe.

Starting over again became the norm, ending and beginning new friendships, learning multiple languages, broadening my perspective of various cultures and eating habits, public to private educations… this pattern continued in my adult life, travelling and searching for the next destination to give me that boost of satisfaction.

In 2015 it seemed I had a perfect life: a job (I thought) I wanted, a room in the centre of Amsterdam, inspiring friends, weekend trips away – though something was clearly missing.

MY LIFE BEFORE the WAKE UP CALL

* Ashamed of my body – unstable weight through binge eating habits even though I vigorously did CrossFit. *

* Constant fatigue even though I slept 8 hours *

* Bloating, constipation, cramps, eczema on hands due to multiple food intolerances even though I strictly cut out all I ‘should not’ be eating for months up to years! *

* Single, lonely and doubting myself if I would ever be able to meet my prince charming *

* Grumpy with my parents when they hadn’t done anything wrong *

* Judging myself I should be further ahead in my career by now *

* Proving myself at work, in friendships, during sports that I was good enough *

* Afraid to say no, voice my opinion and stand up for myself at work *

* Constant desire to travel, escape and start over again *

/// the shift \\\\\\

I never wanted to listen to my mom’s advice and her Mindvalley emails, the shift happened when a Crossfit friend told me about a simple and effective mindfulness course (link is to another course my friend Bailey is guiding online) she had done. It was finally my time. Enough is Enough.

Within 6 months of starting the mindfulness course, I started dating again, quit crossfit and joined yoga classes, radically quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Mexico and joined a month meditation retreat in Guatemala – wow.

For someone stubborn and sceptical like me who could (and would ) not sit still for even 1 minute, I fell in love with it.

Over the years I dived deeper into the spiritual world and experienced a range of courses from mindset work to vipassana to plant medicine to quantum healing.

I read a few books along the way, but what truly changed me from the inside were the encounters with inspiring people and teachers and my reflecting on my own journey when taking the courage to step out of my comfort zone.

You can read all the theory you want, but you have to take action to integrate and make the change.

/// the effects \\\\\\

* I can now eat what I want, not feel guilty and therefore not bloated/constipated/in pain all the time *

* Not attached to outcomes and expectations of myself and others *

* Cuddling cats and not get an allergic reaction *

* Acceptance of my emotions, listen to my body and know how to release what no longer serves me *

* Confidence in my bodies ability to heal itself *

* Compassion for myself and others, not getting triggered by what others say/do * 

* Living with an incredible loving partner who shares my values and follows his calling *

* Spending my time doing what makes me happy *

* I am worthy and I am useful by living authentically *

* Connected to everything and everyone. I belong and feel supported *

* Free to be me and to express my voice in ways I could have never imagined *

* I know that I know nothing at all, nothing makes sense and that is ok *

* I am a student of life and I embrace the unknown, not run away from it *

i am we arE

We all have our stories, and we can keep going back to the past to uncover the truth of why we are how we are, and do and what we do.

We can also focus on what is here now.

Where are we now, what is true now and what is it that we can create with ease and flow.

And create with intention, for everyone’s highest good and aligned with your true nature.

Let’s put our stories aside, and hone in on what matters – unconditional love, friendship and worth for one self.